Fear of Abundance with Ryan Roi

What if the only thing standing between you and an abundant life is your fear?

Dive into the layers of fear & abundance as we welcome our special guest, Ryan Roi who shares his deep insights on this often overlooked subject.

We talk about the different manifestations of abundance and how our upbringing and parental relationships can influence our perception of it.

In this episode, we also shed light on the importance of honesty, which is essential to overcoming this fear.

Ryan shares how the fear of abundance had once been a terrifying and dysregulating part of his journey. His anecdotal experiences in managing funds and employees for the first time will surely resonate with many listeners who are in business or leadership roles. We also dissect how this fear can be a disconnect from our natural flow, limiting our capacity to receive from the universe.

You'll also learn how our abundance can inspire those around us and create a positive ripple effect in our communities. We venture into the potential of abundance to fund artistic projects and provide opportunities for those who may lack access to them.

Finally, we look at how embracing uncomfortable feelings and seeking help can be powerful tools to overcome the fear of abundance. So, join us in this enlightening conversation about abundance, healing, and self-growth.

We loved recording this episode, and we hope you get lots of value out of it!

Thanks for listening!

Nadine & Ryan

Connect with Tattoo Artist & Financial Coach, Ryan Roi on Instagram. 

⭐️Join EMPOWERED SPENDER: My digital course that will teach you how to transform financial chaos and shame-inducing emotional spending sprees, into Rich Bitch energy, using an easy-breezy nervous system friendly approach that empowers you to spend guilt free, and save for future adventures. 

https://www.saveamillioncents.com/empoweredspender

⭐️Check out my 1:1  Money Magic Mentorship Program  here.

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Transcript

Speaker 2 0:33

Hello everyone, welcome back to the Money Healing Podcast. My name is Nadine Zammelt. I am your host for today, and today we've got a very special guest. We're actually recording live here from our studio, ryan Roy. Welcome to the Money Healing Podcast. What's up? So this is the first time I actually record face to face with someone and it's a lot of fun. Let's start off by telling everyone how we met, because I think that was a really fun story.

Speaker 1 1:04

We met in a Facebook group of financial coaches and it was a group of people that, let's just say they were mostly like Midwestern, like soccer moms. That was my impression of it. Okay, no offense, that's cool, we need those financial coaches. But then there was this other person, nadine, and she was not like the rest.

Speaker 2 1:29

No, I had, like Ola's lipstick on and crazy bandana. I don't know. I look different, You look different and you're like.

Speaker 1 1:35

I worked in a circus and I was like, okay, this person is another weirdo like myself. The only other weirdo that I could find in the financial coaches group and we immediately became friends and our paths have taken a lot of winding roads and now we are here together, yes, talking on the podcast.

Speaker 2 1:58

In New Mexico.

Speaker 1 1:59

Super exciting.

Speaker 2 2:00

So we just got back from an exhilarating hike.

Speaker 1 2:05

Yes, we did, it was really good.

Speaker 2 2:06

It was a really good hike. I was kind of struggling, but we got there, we got back. I thought you guys were going to leave me behind, but thanks for waiting.

Speaker 1 2:15

I feel like hiking and talking. It was the perfect way for us to meet in person and have this conversation. I don't know why. Just the energy There was also eating. So yeah, there was eating It was a magical experience. It really was.

Speaker 2 2:32

It continues to be. We've got lots of plans for today, but for now we decided to get together and talk about something that kind of was the theme that kept popping up while we were hiking and talking, talking and hiking and occasionally eating. The subject was the fear of abundance.

Speaker 1 2:50

Yeah, That came up a lot. It's been coming up a lot for me.

Speaker 2 2:55

Yeah, same for me.

Speaker 1 2:57

I feel like it's one of those things that I work as a financial coach. I have this like imposter syndrome, or this idea that I shouldn't struggle with those types of things, when, in fact, that's completely not at all the truth. The fact is, i struggle with them just like anyone else does, and I'm fascinated by it, i want to explore it, and I have a unique set of tools and a unique way to communicate about it. that, then, that's what makes me a financial coach.

Speaker 2 3:28

Exactly, i'm diving into it. Yeah, i mean, that's what deepens our practice as well, is the deeper we go in our personal practice, the deeper we can take our clients, because you can take people as deep as you've been right.

Speaker 1 3:42

Yeah, and you can't take them deeper than you've been.

Speaker 2 3:45

No way. There's no way. There's no way you could do that. What happens is that when you do this work, when you do the healing work, when you do all the things that we each talk about in our respective businesses and podcasts, abundance happens as a byproduct. Whether you're doing it intentionally or you're not, things are going to fall into your lap.

Speaker 1 4:10

I also think we should start with like what do we mean by abundance?

Speaker 2 4:15

Yes, because that means something different to everyone Absolutely, and the truth is there is no like. This is the right answer Yeah, this is abundance. I'm curious for you.

Speaker 1 4:22

Nadine, like rather than like in this moment. what do you want to create? abundance to mean right now, yeah, and it could mean something different tomorrow.

Speaker 2 4:29

Absolutely.

Speaker 1 4:30

And what would you like to create? when you refer to abundance, what do you mean?

Speaker 2 4:34

So I like the idea that it's a fluid, malleable, you know concept like today. What I would want to create today in terms of abundance is might be different in a month down or whatever, so for now it just feels. For me, abundance feels like flow, whether it's a flow of ideas, flow of creativity, flow of money, clients Yeah, it just feels like this unnever ending well of energy and dynamic co-creation with the universe. That's what abundance feels for me, never ending.

Speaker 1 5:16

I was here. you didn't say the word, right here, like infinite.

Speaker 2 5:19

Ah, i like that. Yes, infinite, yeah, and our human brains can't No, and it's something right now called infinity.

Speaker 1 5:27

I haven't watched it, but someone's telling me about it or infinite. And it's about the concept of infinity and how difficult it is for humans I'm going to I haven't watched it yet, so I'm botching But how difficult it is for humans to conceive of the idea of infinity. And so, in abundance, there's an infinite flow.

Speaker 2 5:47

So before I ask you about what your meaning of abundance, i kind of want to circle back like a side circle to say the concept or like the idea that we can have infinite abundance and infinite ideas and creativity and money and whatever kind of is mind boggling to my human brain, for example, like on an intuitive level. I'm like, of course, duh, but my brain's like what do you mean? How much You know, how much, how many quantities or like units is infinity. And that's like the struggle that I always find with creative people, like what our spirit or what our instinct is telling us to do, versus what our brain is like oh, hang on, what I can't catch up. I can't keep up with all this.

Speaker 1 6:38

And then if you have access to infinite potential and flow, then someone else can't have access to it.

Speaker 2 6:45

Well, that's where we go into the scarcity. Yeah Right.

Speaker 1 6:49

And to just recognize that that's not necessarily the truth, absolutely not.

Speaker 2 6:54

Yeah.

Exploring Fear and Abundance

Speaker 1 6:56

And I go there too, and my brain goes there, and then it robs me of feeling like it's okay for me to want to be in that state of flow of abundance. And again, we're not just talking about financial monetary numbers and we are talking about that.

Speaker 2 7:12

Yeah, it's part of it, like money is part of the abundance, but abundance is not money.

Speaker 1 7:18

Yes.

Speaker 2 7:18

So what is abundance for you, Ryan Roy?

Speaker 1 7:21

Abundance. Well, i can certainly say that when we were on the hike, when we were on the tram going up, it was like the longest sky tram in the United States going up. And I was like seeing the incredible, the rock structures and the trees, and I was actually very present to this profound sense of love from the earth.

Speaker 1 7:51

And I also have to say I did the past three days I've been doing this meditation that, like is one of the most psychedelic meditation experiences I've had, and I cry and I laugh And so, like, when we met for the first time in person this morning, we hugged, like my vibration was like all the way the fuck up here. And so I like started off today with this incredible presence of abundance, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 8:19

Your energy is so open. It's quite obvious online, but on the phone, like we've spent hours on the phone, But I'm not like that all the time You're not. No, no, no, no, no no, no, no, no, no, no, really, Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 8:34

I am like that all the time now. No, i'm not, and I think it's really important to acknowledge that. Okay, i mean, i've been going through so much of my life. I've been going through getting divorced and my one business growing immensely, and the other business my tattoo series are like going through changes that have been both good and difficult. It's like you have many children, i know.

Speaker 2 8:56

You have an abundance of children And then I have an actual child.

Speaker 1 8:58

You have an actual child Who is a star seed being from another dimension, sent here to upheave my entire life in the most beautiful way possible. And it's challenging. And so what I've been dealing with a lot and what I've been coming up against recently is this fear of abundance And that, if I just trust and so you're asking me what it you know, i think I think it actually is like uh, what am I afraid of? What is the fear of abundance? What is abundance? I think abundance is, um, like I like a limited, authentic self-expression.

Speaker 2 9:40

I kind of felt that in my sacral chakra, like, yeah, i like that.

Speaker 1 9:44

Yeah, and then when you are channeling that authentic self-expression and again, this is like I will look at my daughter and I look at, we are showing you that video of her dancing in the street- Yeah, this kid is overflowing with creative energy, and that is abundance.

Speaker 1 10:04

And then I think, we grow up and we start to limit. We're like, well, you, you can have this, but if you have that, you can't have this. And then you, you certainly can't have that. And this is, you can have some of this. And there's all these limitations, these lines drawn in the sand in our minds. It doesn't really exist, no, they don't. And uh, and it cuts us off from that abundance.

Speaker 2 10:27

So, from my experience, what I've noticed because I will I take my clients through an exercise and in this exercise we'll look at their money dynamics throughout their lives and our relationship with money started way before our first allowance or our first job and any of that and what I see reflected time and time again and I see that with myself and I wonder if that's something that you can also like resonate with is that our relationship to receiving abundance from the universe, our perception of it, really reflects our relationship to receiving from our parents, because that was our first receiving relationship.

Speaker 2 11:14

Yeah so I wonder, with you saying all that, i wonder if, like your feel of fear of failure came from a place where your parents really didn't want to see you fail and that was kind of like the you know, like, yeah, i mean my, my, my origin story of my fear of failure, uh is um, i think I was sharing this on our previous episode that I was doing alone, but it I miss.

Speaker 1 11:43

Fearon, third grade math feature. Okay, you know, basically I couldn't do the math problem in front of the whole class, embarrassed. Okay told me that I started crying. She told me to get out of the class. That was, it didn't come from my parents. And then I, then I put a lot of expectations on myself.

Navigating Fear of Abundance in Business

Speaker 2 12:00

Third grade. Third grade, i would say, was way before that though oh, there is not. No, no parents, yeah but our parents want the best for us and sometimes we internalize that as like oh, i gotta try harder sure, hey, you know I don't want to disappoint them, yeah, yeah, so what I'll just?

Speaker 1 12:23

I'll just be real honest about like what. What's been coming is my, my, my coaching business is doing very well. I am now in charge of managing funds amounts of money that I've never had to manage before in my life and I hired a incredibly talented COO chief officer of operations. Her name is Thomeye. Shout out to Thomeye. She's worked with multi-million dollar projects before. She knows how to do this kind of stuff and met her at LinkedIn and, uh, she's been helping me because, oh yeah, i'm a financial coach, right, i have systems in place that are good at managing like five figures a month, but the company is now reaching the point of close to six figures a month of revenue and again, this is not I'm not yet earning that myself. I have staff, i have employees. You know I'm paying out a lot of people for this and, and just managing that and then realizing that there's several people that their whole livelihood depends on my company is kind of like terrifying, of course, it's terrifying, oh my god.

Speaker 1 13:29

And then like I don't even care about my income. I will like sacrifice, paying myself to make sure that they all get paid out well and that they're taken care of. And it's just been this experience that I have never had to face before and, like we were saying before, like my income changed, but my mindset didn't change yet yeah, i like the.

Speaker 2 13:53

What did you say when we were walking? you said, like the, the plant is bigger than the pot yeah or like yeah, you said it in in a different way, that's.

Speaker 1 14:02

That's essentially. What I was saying is the the plant is bigger than the pot that it's sitting in and I need to get a bigger pot yes, exactly, and I've been having.

Speaker 2 14:13

Well it's, it's not a bad problem to have, but it is so from the standpoint of me last year what we're talking about now, because I'm about to share my experience with fear of abundance. I would be like, what are they talking about? you know, like I'm just saying this for people out there they're listening to this and thinking like what are they complaining about? like too much abundance? like, honestly, a year ago I would have been like these people are crazy. But honestly, when things start shifting in your business and you're making a lot of money, more money than you've ever experienced before, it is really dysregulating. It really is and it's yes, it's a good problem.

Speaker 1 14:56

It can happen on a small scale yeah even when I started to go from you know three to four k a month earning, you know rough and that range to earning six to eight k, like it was a very different experience.

Speaker 2 15:08

I went from making two or three maximum four thousand dollars a month to a ten thousand dollar day. I really got a heart attack like I am really grateful for it and I was very much in celebration about it. But then three days later, i was like what the fuck? uh, what, what, what is, what is this? I don't know what to do with it. Is it gonna like my mind, or, if you want to call it my ego, took over, or I call it the tyrant archetype, sure, like? what are you gonna do with this? is it gonna happen again? what are you gonna do? you're gonna have you know to do it again. So you have to never gonna happen it's gonna never.

Speaker 2 15:44

Oh, that's what if it never happens again? are you gonna save it? are you gonna spend it? what is like this? everything in my mind went like and then my magician part, like my, my instinct, my, my intuition, was like it doesn't matter, because your worth is so unrelated to how much money you make. Whether you make money or you don't make money, your worth is the same.

Healing and Expanding With Money

Speaker 2 16:10

And that is the magic that I, when I lean into, that of like, oh, this means nothing, it just means that I'm serving more people, that I I'm actually becoming clearer and I'm healing more, because, for me personally, the more I heal, the better I express myself. So that was just a reflection of the healing work that I've been doing on myself, right, like, i'm able to reach more people and more people are resonating with my, resonating with my message. But then here's the thing um the past maybe six months, all the people that have been coming into my world, whether it's like one-on-one coaching or group coaching, there, we all have the same issue of like, well, fear of abundance, is this gonna go away? Because everybody coming is like I'm making the best money of my life, but I'm having more anxiety and I don't feel like I thought I would feel at this point And this is something we talked about over lunch, right, it's like oh, ryan, i don't feel like you know, i closed 15K last month.

Speaker 2 17:13

I don't feel like I thought I would feel In so many ways.

Speaker 1 17:17

I don't feel different than Yeah, it doesn't feel different A year ago. Yeah, okay, cool. All I feel is that I have more responsibility And again, this isn't I hope no one's hearing this like why are? what are you complaining about? We're not complaining. I know that everyone experiences this. No, i'm really grateful. So, and if we don't talk about this?

Speaker 2 17:45

We have to talk about this thing Then it's hard for any of us to grow.

Speaker 1 17:48

It makes it hard for all of us to grow.

Speaker 2 17:50

It's true. I love that perspective. We talk about things to. I mean, we all heal in community. We all heal as a community because in hearing somebody else's story something inside of us feels seen And in being seen we heal. But that's not like the entire story of healing.

Speaker 1 18:12

It's part of it. And even saying this like I can hear my own fear of what someone's gonna think of.

Speaker 2 18:17

Ryan and saying oh, your company's generating six figures of revenue And what are you bitching about?

Speaker 1 18:24

What are you bitching about? And it's not bitching, but I can feel that, and so I just have to acknowledge that, like, yeah, there's like a fear And I think I had that fear even before that of like, just like acknowledging how much money.

Speaker 2 18:42

I mean, i feel the same like just revealing. I think a few episodes ago, a few months ago, i was talking about how you know, people think that by following your purpose you're gonna make less money. Or like, am I really gonna make money when I'm following our purpose and leaving like the secure nine to five? And I shared how my hourly rate went from $14 an hour in corporate America to 250, 300 an hour. That was back then And I really felt this cringe inside of me of like, oh my God, am I really gonna publish this? And like, the next day I was speaking to one of my trusted friends and I was like, did you hear that? Was that gross? Like, did I sound like cheap? And she goes I'm fucking proud of you for saying that. I know it was hard for you to say something like that, but it is what's the word expander? right? Like we, i only knew that this is possible because, you know, ryan and I we kind of we started off together and you know we started at the bottom.

Speaker 1 19:46

We started at the bottom, I think in my first year of coaching I made $300.

Speaker 2 19:51

I think I made a little bit more than that. I was like, oh, wow. But then you, you know, you took off in like I love the things that you do, but you were, you are my expander. Even when I hear you speak, you're so transparent And I'm like, wow, Ryan is so like open.

Speaker 1 20:09

You're like I'm not open.

Speaker 2 20:11

He's so open and that's also an expander. So we share these stories, not to brag, but in hopes of normalizing this talk, but also in if you're feeling like, oh shit, I'm making the best money of my life, but I'm still anxious. A lot of self shame happens. No, but a lot of self shame happens because, the voice of the inner critic, whatever if it sounds like your parent or your teacher Shouldn't feel this way.

Speaker 2 20:39

How dare you? You need to be grateful, right, but yes, you see, the thing is with emotional healing is that you can hold contradicting feelings at once. You can be grateful and be uncomfortable. So, from a nervous system perspective, what we're talking about is classic dysregulation, right? Because so we have something called the window of tolerance. If the window of tolerance of our nervous system gets overwhelmed, whether it's a positive thing or a negative thing, our nervous system is gonna go either into hyper or hypo in hyper regulation, or you go into fire or flight.

Speaker 1 21:21

I was gonna say like yeah. Too much, good too much bad too much anything.

Speaker 2 21:25

You're just playing with that window of tolerance.

Speaker 1 21:28

I always say to people there's no such thing as the comfort zone, there's the familiar zone. And if you stay in the familiar zone, you're still gonna be uncomfortable. And if you step out of your familiar zone into the unfamiliar zone, you'll also be uncomfortable. Except, that's where you grow and expand, and when you stay in the familiar zone, that's where you hold for So that window of tolerance is sort of like the familiar zone.

Speaker 2 21:50

Maybe you can almost, but on a nervous system level.

Speaker 1 21:53

Yeah, yeah, no, i didn't find a one for one.

Speaker 2 21:55

So too much money can this is something that you mentioned also too much money can make us feel like danger, danger. So what happens could be is that we have an association, and a subconscious association of rich people are like, for example, money is evil, rich people are evil. Or like we belong to being artists and creatives, We kind of poo poo people that have a lot of money and making a lot of money, or if you're an artist and creative and you have a lot of money, you must have sold out.

Speaker 2 22:33

Yeah, exactly, you must have like. who did you?

Speaker 2 22:36

how did you? how did you get there? So for our primitive mind and I say that like, of course, like from like a nervous system perspective, from the brain stem perspective we're not talking about the cognitive brain, which is like the logical thinking brain If we register this as we won't belong to the clan anymore because historically, if you don't belong to the tribe, you're, you're, you're, prey. So when we make a lot of money and that, on a subconscious level, could mean we no longer belong, to the tribe.

Speaker 1 23:12

Yeah to the tribe. Oh, wow, that's so fascinating.

Speaker 2 23:13

Yeah, that's when your nervous system is like ding ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, no, no, no, no, no. Don't go there. That's like self sabotage. No more So, because self sabotaging is protection right, right, because it keeps you in the small, the smaller game.

Speaker 1 23:28

Yes, yes, and I I've often looked at myself in the past and I think I've done a lot of work on it, but, like, yeah, i was a amazing self-sabotager in the past.

Speaker 2 23:38

That's your amazing nervous system, protecting you, trying to protect me yeah.

Speaker 2 23:43

Your nervous system doesn't care about you succeeding in need to keep you alive. So you're alive, nervous systems is succeeding, all good. So what we do is the healing work That's part of the healing work is expanding that window of tolerance to tolerate, you know, to be in negative emotions because we're living in this 3D world and things that are gonna make you feel sad are gonna happen. So to show your nervous system that you're not gonna die because you feel grief or sadness, because so many of the things that we do in life is to avoid a feeling. Like I look at people's spending and I would say how, like in my mind, because it's like a little bit advanced to tell a client this in the beginning, but they get it in the end It's like all of this spending is happening because you're trying to avoid a feeling, and it's usually sadness or grief or, you know, like something that is not within your window of tolerance, like the quantity of it.

Speaker 1 24:42

Yeah, yeah, very, very cool Um are you here?

Speaker 1 24:52

No, i'm just like taking it in, yeah, yeah, so how do we? How, how? so here's what I've been doing To deal with. First of all, i had to acknowledge to myself that I have a fear of abundance. Okay, i think that was like a big step for me. Yeah, because I was living in trying to pretend like I don't have a fear of abundance, like, yeah, i'm into manifestation and I'm open and I'm free, and like I shouldn't have us had shame around It, and like shame is one of the most blocking.

Speaker 2 25:25

I know, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 25:29

But shame cannot live in the light, it thrives in the darkness and we don't talk about it anyone read you know brunet brown. When we shine light on it, it like can't survive.

Speaker 2 25:40

Releasing money. Shame is the most downloaded episode on my podcast. Oh Yeah, that's shame, because The first thing I don't know about you but the first thing I always Go through to crack is a layer of shame. Money shame, yeah, because somehow we're been told like Why don't you know how to manage your money from there from the womb? Like, why, like how, oh shit, you know. Like, oh sorry, i don't know how to freaking.

Speaker 1 26:08

I just heard like like money's, like a violin, and you're just given this violin and you're just expected to know how to play it And everyone pretends like they know how to play the violin, and no one can play the fucking violin. It sounds fucking horrible.

Speaker 2 26:25

You think you're going back to new york. Huh, everybody, if you're missing on ryan roe, know that he's here. You're wondering what ryan is.

Speaker 1 26:35

Kidnap by Nadine. What's the address here? Please come and help me somebody. Please save me Oh.

Speaker 2 26:41

Oh my god, i think, like the moment I I knew I was so excited to meet you in person because, like we've been Talking on the phone for so long and we've like you're just like like a soul connection from Past lives, and like when I first thought I'm like, yeah, i'm not letting this, this one, go. We're just gonna hug for a while here.

Speaker 1 27:04

We had like a five minute hug Yeah we did. We did made everyone around us uncomfortable. It was awesome.

Speaker 2 27:10

And, of course, me all emotional and crying. So in saying that you're one of my expander's, i want to say something that could be very healing for you. So when You invited me to speak in your group, i Because your business is doing well and you're paying your staff well You paid me very well and the thing that I created for your group was Like the best thing I've ever created, let's say Right. So in your abundance, you expanded me this way. You made me go out of my comfort zone to create the best presentation ever.

Speaker 2 28:01

Yeah and it's because I don't know how to explain it It's more of a felt sense than like oh he's paying me well, so I'm gonna make a good presentation. It's more like the way that you care about your clients and the way that you care about your employees Made me level up way more, and I'm a Virgo, so my standards are very high. So my standards for anything I present in your group are like 20 out of 10, just because of The energy that you bring into your business and your content and all of that.

Speaker 1 28:39

So your abundance elevated me and in turn, i'm elevating people And they're elevating people and I think that's So important for all of us to start to rewrite the script in our mind around abundance, around wealth, about being rich or whatever it is. Is that my? So this weekend being in New Mexico, i got to go to Meow Wolf, which, i have to say, was like a religious experience.

Speaker 1 29:05

I was so blown away by it. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, it's this, uh, art installation warehouse, i don't know how to describe it. It was created by these anarchist artists who realized that their art was never going to be shown in a gallery. It was too experiential, it was too out there, and so they created this environment, this psychedelic world, and there's like a story being told, and it is.

Speaker 1 29:32

It's like a psychedelic experience without ingesting anything Yeah wow, and I was there and I'm like I want my company, i want the Artful Dollar to fund art projects like this. I was so inspired and I could. It was like I felt like a seed was being planted while I was there that I wasn't. I'm gonna know how that seed looks in the next couple years.

Speaker 1 29:56

I don't know what it means right now but, i, know what's happening And I want any abundance that I invite into my life to be shared, to expand, to grow, not at the cost of someone else's abundance, but actually, you know, when a candle lights another candle. You don't take fire away from one candle, they both light and I want my abundance to be that in the world for artists, and so I just want people to get like your abundance can inspire, others can call others to be.

Speaker 2 30:28

Absolutely, that's what I'm trying to say. Your abundance is inspiring me, yeah, yeah, and your abundance is inspiring your clients and my abundance is inspiring my people as well, my community and my clients. So when we do the healing work, sorry y'all, it's not just about you Doing the money. Healing work is a responsibility. So what happened to us is not your fault, it's not our fault. But we're not to blame and shame here. But we need to take agency and we need to take the self-leadership and do the healing work, because it's not just about you. And even if you're someone who doesn't want to have children, like me, you know I choose not to have kids but your healing and your perspective, your healed perspective and your abundance is gonna inspire others.

Speaker 1 31:21

I was talking to a client who young, you know in her early 20s, and grew up, you know, in poverty and a lot of poverty in her family and we were having a really powerful session about debt, about paying off debt, and she was in some. There was some cycles, there were some internal things that were causing the external situation.

Speaker 2 31:45

It wasn't Yeah, it was always like that. It's always like that right.

Speaker 1 31:47

It's all an internal game, And we were talking about how this isn't the work we're doing right now to help you pay off debt so that you can live the life you want to live is not about you, And if it's just about you, that's actually not a big enough game to inspire you to do it.

Speaker 1 32:04

I was like she was telling about her family and she had all these nieces and nephews and I was like, think of the women in your family, think of the five-year-old niece that's gonna be inspired by you creating wealth and abundance in your life and seeing that that's now possible for her, because she doesn't see that from another woman in her family, someone that she can identify with. If she doesn't see that, she'll never know that she's capable of that And that's the work you're doing, so it's never just about you.

Speaker 2 32:31

It's not just about us. It really isn't about us. It really is about it's not also being selfless. right, Let's not be all selfless, Absolutely.

Speaker 1 32:41

Yeah, right, right, and I think a lot of the time our brain's thinking this either I'm being selfless or I'm being selfish.

Speaker 2 32:48

And I think I love the way that you always every so on the hike. Ryan and I may have spoken about business here and there.

Speaker 1 32:55

Maybe just like a little bit. We did The hike was a business right off, basically.

Speaker 2 32:58

It was. we talked about business a lot And what I loved, loved, loved about Ryan's perspective is both, like I said, do you think I should do this or do you think that, oh, you could do?

Speaker 1 33:09

both Like why can't you do both?

Speaker 2 33:10

Yeah, anything I mentioned, it became like he's just gonna say both, why both? But it just that is freaking abundance. That is amazing And they're like. why are you choosing?

Speaker 1 33:22

Like right. We often think within a framework of I can either do this or I can do that and I'm gonna have to sacrifice this thing in order to get that thing. So either I'm a selfless person that hates money and gives it all away when I make it because I feel guilty for having it, or I'm a selfish, cringy, wealthy money grubbing. So and it's like you can actually be both And neither one is good or bad, even, and you can actually be whole and complete and transcend that whole paradigm into something completely new, absolutely.

Speaker 2 33:56

So just back to this whole like being abundant and then all of a sudden spending it all. So you know how we often hear about people that win the lottery and then all of a sudden the money is just like they spent it all The statistics on it are like almost 100% That is a nervous like that is very, very explainable through the nervous system. Is the window of tolerance too much, too soon?

Speaker 1 34:18

Sure, sure, sure.

Speaker 2 34:19

Just I don't wanna look at it like it's burning a hole.

Speaker 1 34:22

Same thing goes for professional athletes and musicians and people that, yeah, preach you know it's the same thing.

Speaker 2 34:29

It's the same thing. So it's like burning a hole in their pockets or bank accounts. It might as well just spend the whole thing.

Speaker 1 34:36

Or by burning a hole in their window of tolerance.

Speaker 2 34:39

Yes, is this your first nervous system? joke, yeah.

Speaker 1 34:49

And so what do we do about it? I can tell you what I've been doing about it?

Speaker 2 34:53

Tell me.

Speaker 1 34:54

So I have been so another to talk about what I've been doing. I have to talk about the word cringe, cringe, cringe, cringe. So I have been thinking a lot about cringe And, again, one of the reasons I'm interested in money is because it's like. This thing that no one wants to talk about is the forbidden zone.

Speaker 2 35:14

Oh my God. But it's just so juicy because it cuts through everything. Like you, i love talking about money, because no one talks about it, everybody's scared to talk about it. But for me it cuts through all the noise and straight to the core wounds.

Speaker 1 35:30

Yes.

Speaker 2 35:31

You know you can't joke around it, Like you can't say yes, but I'm like it shows your money behaviors, telling you exactly how you feel about yourself worth, I mean we can beat around the bush Cringes like that, even the word cringe it makes me cringe, like I don't know if cringe, cringe, cringe And what I think cringe is.

Speaker 1 35:54

And this is I'm gonna tie this in to how-. So he's laughing.

Speaker 2 35:57

How I'm gonna tie this into how I'm healing my fear of abundance is.

Speaker 1 36:04

Cringe is and this is my definition, i haven't taken this from anywhere. So cringe is when your inner child, your infinite, playful, abundant, laughing silly mess Your inner beta. You're gonna my inner beta right, seize something that it's excited about. And then all of those limiting lines in the sand that have been drawn as you grew up shame your inner child. This is all happening inside of you. It's shaming on a subconscious level, you are shaming your own inner child for being excited by that thing.

Speaker 2 36:37

Yeah.

Speaker 1 36:38

And so an example of this is this woman, reese Hilburn, who I've been on her podcast and she is really inspiring. When I first saw her, i was like cringed out. I was like why is she so free and expressive, like ooh.

Speaker 2 36:51

She really is. I love her energy Yeah.

Embrace Cringe, Overcome Fear of Abundance

Speaker 1 36:53

But at first I was like ooh. But, I was like why am I ooing that? What's wrong? What's wrong here? What's really happening here? And I realized like there's a part of it that just wants to be as free as she is Yes, of course. And then there's something that's telling myself no, you shouldn't be like that.

Speaker 2 37:13

Is there a shame of being jealous?

Speaker 1 37:15

A shame of sure It's shaming myself for being jealous. Yeah, it's a multitude of things going on there right, And so cringe is powerful.

Speaker 2 37:23

Cringe is powerful If you lean in.

Speaker 1 37:27

If you don't lean into cringe, If you don't lean in, you just judge things.

Speaker 2 37:31

Oh cringe, this is gross, she's bad.

Speaker 1 37:34

But I invite everyone listening to this, lean in And at the same time, you find something cringey. Just pause and just ask yourself what in me is really feeling that way, what's really going on? Because it's reflecting something back at you.

Speaker 2 37:45

It is such a fertile ground to lean into the cringe.

Speaker 1 37:49

Yeah, yeah, there's someone I follow We're not doctors here And they're always posting like embrace the cringe. I'm like fuck yeah, but also yes, but do I have to?

Speaker 2 38:00

So if money cringes, if money makes a cringe, Right.

Speaker 1 38:03

Well, if money makes a cringe, I'm like saying good things to myself, Like simply, I was telling you earlier me and Vada would get in front of the mirror and go I'm doing great, Oh my god, I'm. And it's her little fist would go up in the air. I'm doing great And it's like I was cringe thinking about going to tell yourself that you're doing great, But my inner dialogue is often telling me that I'm not doing enough The way I'm doing it isn't right.

Speaker 2 38:32

Are you in Virgo, by any chance? No, you've got two burgers here on the phone.

Speaker 1 38:37

I'm not doing enough And I should be farther ahead than I am. And what I'm doing now it's this berating myself with negative self-talk, and so I need to counteract that, and in order to do that, i need to embrace the cringe. I need to tell myself that you know what I'm doing great, i am doing great, and I've been doing this meditation in the morning that my meditation coach manifestation meditation life coach, matt Cook shout out to Matt has been guiding me through, and I just tell myself I'm doing it, i am doing it And I envision the life that I want to live the day from morning to night.

Speaker 1 39:21

It is sometimes in New Mexico part of the time And I just remind myself I'm capable of all this. I am, and I need to do that self-talk, and it feels weird the first couple of times I do it, and then I get into it And I'm like I can do this And I'm like I'm proud of myself, i am proud of myself, i'm proud of myself. I just repeat it over and over I am proud of you, thank you.

Speaker 1 39:48

But I don't tell myself that, and then I seek validation elsewhere, in other ways, and it never is enough, and that's again the Virgo weird. I think we all can identify with that. I had to embrace the cringe in order to heal my relationship, in order to heal my fear of abundance. That's what the point that I'm getting at, and that's been my practice now. That's what I've been doing.

Speaker 2 40:10

Got it OK.

Speaker 1 40:12

And it's been working.

Speaker 2 40:13

So, for me, my fear of abundance I think I've started acknowledging it just freshly, because this is all very new for me Like, just like this, whoa, whoa, ok, great, this is my new business now, great, awesome. But yeah, i think I acknowledge it out loud just on our walk, so it's pretty fresh for me. And you did point something out, and it is actually how I'm going to start helping myself with my fear of abundance is that I need more structure, meaning I need help. I need somebody to help me, whether it's social media, whether it's an assistant, whether it's I don't know, but that would what's the word? expand my container for receiving? Yeah, right, so, and the more I receive, the more I can serve. Yeah, because that's the whole. The name of the game is service for me, and I'm pretty sure it's a different, maybe different word that you use.

Speaker 1 41:18

I honestly think one of the most powerful things we can do is acknowledge that we need help and ask for help. It is so powerful.

Speaker 2 41:24

But it's so hard, though, sometimes right.

Speaker 1 41:27

But why is it hard?

Speaker 2 41:29

Because we are told that we need to be.

Speaker 1 41:32

You created a narrative that you're supposed to do it yourself. Yeah, we need to do it.

Speaker 2 41:35

Well, yeah, i mean, there's some kind of hero, hero-ness, hero ship. You're a hero if you're doing it on your own. And look, she did it on her own kind of thing, like self-made woman or whatever person. But I didn't come at it from that. I didn't want to be like, oh my god, it's just doing it on her own kind of thing. It just happened And I just happened not to have any support, right, but I feel like I could deflect abundance if I don't have some form of support. Otherwise, my nervous system is going to be like no, no, no, no. Even if I'm like, yes, bring it in, my nervous system is going to be like go to bed.

Speaker 1 42:23

And you deserve support. Yes, it's not that you need support, or should you deserve support?

Speaker 2 42:31

And support is opening a dream job for someone.

Speaker 1 42:36

Yeah, my again COO.

Speaker 1 42:39

she's almost like my money coach in many ways because I don't have experience dealing with the numbers and payrolls for people in tens of thousands of dollars going this way and that way and managing this and hiring systems and automation. It's like brought this to this whole other level and I pay her very well to basically coach me and show me, and we go over the numbers when we talk about them. And again it's like I yeah, i'm a financial coach, but I never had to deal with this And so I bring like my confidence around money but also like my humility of like, yeah, you know what I need help. I need help And it's okay for me to ask for help And I'm actually going to be more capable and more powerful in dealing with whatever life is throwing at me when I ask for and open myself to receive help from others.

Speaker 2 43:29

But you're so open, Ryan.

Speaker 1 43:32

There's more opening.

Speaker 2 43:33

There's always more opening to deal.

Speaker 1 43:34

There's always limiting beliefs to heal. There's always mindset to expand. There's always opening to happen. You know I love the word mindset right It's my least favorite word.

Speaker 2 43:47

What was I going to say? But in you learning all these things, you're going to later teach others.

Speaker 1 43:54

Yeah.

Speaker 2 43:55

Right.

Speaker 1 43:56

So, yeah, i always tell everyone in my course, i say I want you each, everyone, you to know, and I'm going to tell this to everyone listening to this. I want you to know, i want you to hear me telling you this that you are capable of creating extraordinary wealth in your life. Absolutely Abundance too You are, and now there might be some little voice in your head that's saying, like Ryan's not talking to me, yeah, and I want you to know I'm talking to you.

Speaker 2 44:18

Actually, we are talking to you.

Speaker 1 44:19

We're actually talking directly to you.

Speaker 2 44:21

We're talking to the, exactly to the people that are like that's not me, That's you. Yeah So just hear it, just hear it right now, just give yourself permission to hear that you are capable of that And if it makes you cringe, we've done our job. Exactly. Should we call this episode cringe, cringe word From cringe to abundance. Oh man, all right, you feel complete.

Speaker 1 44:49

I feel complete. That was amazing And I look forward to our next conversation, same.

Speaker 2 44:56

Well, we are going to go and eat some new Mexican food Hell yeah. And thanks everyone for listening.

Speaker 1 45:04

Yeah, thanks for tuning in. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out to us.

Speaker 2 45:08

Yes, um, yeah, cool, all right, where can people?

Speaker 1 45:12

find you Nadine Where?

Speaker 2 45:13

can people find you, ryan? You first, no, you first. All right, so you can find me on Instagram at Nadine Zumot, nadinzumot, or you can go on my website save a million centscom, ryan.

Speaker 1 45:34

You can find me on Instagram Really.

Speaker 2 45:36

And threads. huh, you're all about the threads. now Threads, yeah.

Speaker 1 45:40

Threads. I'm into threads Threads in my opinion And I don't get sponsored by it But I think it's a cool Twitter. That's what it is.

Speaker 2 45:46

I think it's a cooler Twitter.

Speaker 1 45:47

Yeah, But yeah you can find me on threads and Instagram Ryan Roy R-O-I tattoo T-A-T-T-O-O And I'm very active on there and I invite you to feel free to reach out with any questions.

Speaker 2 46:03

You are active on there.

Speaker 1 46:04

Yeah, i love you Social media is a form of self-expression, that's something I had to embrace. I had to get over my limiting beliefs around social media and marketing. It's all about mindset. I just about mindset.

Speaker 2 46:17

All right, all right, we're just going to start. Keep going here. Bye, everyone. Thanks for listening. We're going to go eat new Mexican food now. Bye.